Dean writes:
Every time you are confronted with a crucifixion moment, choose to lay down your self-life. Choose to surrender your pride, your expectations, your rights, your demands. Choose the way of the cross. Let someone else get the credit you deserve; forego the opportunity to have the last word; die to the demands of your flesh.
Crucifixion moments. How many of these moments do I encounter daily? It is transforming to see these circumstances as a chance for me to choose the way of the cross. It could be some seemingly small, inconsequential thing, such as refraining from yelling at my children to clean up their mess. It could be choosing to humble yourself and say "I'm sorry," when it really wasn't your fault. It could be choosing to whistle and sing praises to God while cleaning a sticky toilet seat for the 100,000,000th time.
The scripture says that God is close to those with a broken and contrite heart, but those who are proud, God opposes. I don't want any vestige of pride to be lingering in me without my knowing it. I want the Lord to expose every hidden area and bring it out into the light. I want the Lord's closeness to me, don't you? I want to draw near to Him and know that He is there and that He is hearing and answering my prayers.
Upon first thinking about this issue of pride, I had an idea somehow that I didn't really struggle with pride. How arrogant is that! That just shows me how much I do have pride. I always thought of pride as something that is puffed up, boastful, etc. But pride comes in many shapes and sizes, many forms and frames. Next post, I will list some of the contrasts between a prideful and a humble person that Nancy lists in her book. These especially convicted me.
The more I walk this Christian life, the more I am seeing my utter need for the Lord. I am actually becoming more dependent, needy and broken than I was when I came to know Him! Does that seem a bit backwards to you? It does to me, but it is the truth. I am seeing myself in light of His holiness, His beauty and His goodness, and I am realizing, like Elijah, that I am a man (woman) of unclean lips.
Lord, bring the coal and burn my lips. Purify and purge my heart until nothing matters but you and you alone. Make me your vessel at all costs. Don't let my love for you ever grow cold. Be my first love, Lord, and give me the grace to love my neighbors as you have loved me. In Jesus name, Amen.
1 comment:
I don't think it seems backwards...I think it's beautiful, transparent, and honest. And I am the same way about feeling more dependent as I go. That's not something to feel bad about, though. Our kids don't feel bad about needing us. :-) I seem to always be going back and apologizing rather than making the choice to "lay down my self-life" on the front end. "A chance to choose the way of the cross" I had not thought of it that way. Thank you so much-I am enjoying your posts. Found you from my friend Becky (your cousin I think?).
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